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Response 1C

I’ve put corrections in brackets: [ ]. I’ve put format corrections in bold because they can lower your mark (usually only very slightly) and yet they’re easy to correct.

Topic. Take a series of images or references and show how they work in the first chapter

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Each inhale of the opium pipe takes away any thoughts or worries that Fowler carries. The loneliness Fowler felt for months because of Pyle is gone. His lost love has come back to him, she’s with him now filling his lungs with smoke. The police arrive to Fowlers home; he willingly goes to the station with them. The police question him, but the haze from the smoke has made his mind clear. Pyle is dead. Fowler can finally go back into the arms of the lover Pyle stole from him. Phuong fills Fowlers pipe once more for him to enjoy.

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The recurring idea of home in the first chapter represents where each character belongs from Fowler's perspective. Fowler states that he 'never wants to go home', but Pyle should have 'stayed at home'. Implying that while he belongs in Vietnam, Pyle does not. Although they are both foreigners, Fowler presumptuously speaks on behalf of his adopted 'home'. Fowler asks Phuong to 'come home', demonstrating his belief that she belongs with him. This preludes to their ideals projected onto Phuong throughout the story. Through this, Greene establishes Fowler as the protagonist, setting up the progression through Fowler's past and present events.

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Distance and Description. Greene uses descriptions of Phuong and Fowler’s interactions with her to establish the distance of thought and feeling between Fowler and Phuong. The opening description “ I couldn’t see her face” instantly implies emotional separation, a clear boundary, though he recognizes her physically. The sharp disconnect between when Fowler asks Phuong to stay and upon refusal (and opium) “her presence or absence mattered very little”, implies past feelings but also shows an emotional distance. Phuong’s lack of historical knowledge creates mental distance as well. Even Phuong’s exclusion from understanding in the police office due to language barrier shows distance: A distance that perhaps Fowler will attempt to close as the story continues. 

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In the first chapter of The Quiet American, Fowler says, ”from the innocent and the good.” Implying there are innocent people and 'good' people or innocent verse people who think they are doing 'good' but cause harm. For example, the innocent are the old women sitting in the streets and trishaw drivers, the locals. Whereas Fowler's example of 'good' is Pyle ”a good chap” that is ”determined to do good." Pyle believes ”in his way,” which probably created conflict and lead to Pyle's murder. Fowler does not agree with Pyles's intentions but does not entirely disagree either.

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In the first chapter of Graham Greene’s The Quiet American, the imagery of fire and the phoenix is a subtle yet invocative [evocative?] one. Fowler mentions that Phuong’s name “means Phoenix, but nothing nowadays is fabulous”. He also mentions that her arms “were as fragile as a bird’s”, and that “the lamplight made her skin the color of dark amber”. From Fowler’s view, Phuong is someone desirable, yet hard to reach or obtain, as she is in love with Pyle and not him. His constant reference to fire and fragility represents the passion of the past, youth, and love.

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Fowler’s references to Phuong’s name, her rearrangement of life, and opium in the first chapter work to create a metaphor for the hopelessness of war. The phoenix is a bird that is born again by rising from the ashes of its predecessor, contrary to Phuong’s own mortality. Phuong’s lack of emotion when she discovers Pyle’s death showcases her weariness as her life is yet again altered and filled with despair. Lastly, opium helps make Fowler complacent to the thought that “we are all better off dead”. No one in or around the war is safe from the hope it distinguishes.

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The image of Vietnamese women, the old women in black trousers gossiping on the landing of Fowler's apartment, the lovely women in the white silk trousers and the long tight jackets in pink and mauve patterns slit up the thigh, and Phuong in her long flowered robe and white silk trousers, is used to communicate the enigmatic and inaccessible soul of Vietnam which has an irresistible allure for Fowler, the fragility of the Vietnamese people caught in the middle of a war which evokes Fowler’s sympathy, the love and attraction Fowler feels towards Phuong and Vietnam, the comfort Fowler finds in his intimacy with Phuong and his familiarity with Vietnam, and how deeply he feels settled and at home in Vietnam.

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The first chapter of the ‘The Quiet American’ [The Quiet American] include references which indicates to the unreliability of the narrator. Fowler seems to be hiding something throughout the chapter. When police ask Fowler where he first met Pyle, he recollects his memory of his first meeting with Pyle in his mind and do not tell Vigot (police officer) about his meeting by thinking that “Why should I explain to him that it was Pyle who had met me?”(12). He asked Vigot “Is {pyle} [ [Pyle] ] in the mortuary?” even before Vigot makes any accusations against him (13).

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Thomas [use his last name: Fowler] describes Phuong by associating her with certain phrases. He uses phrases such as, “hiss of steam”, “the clink of a cup” and “the certain hour of the night and the promise of rest”. These series of images aim to portray Phuong in a certain type of way. As it is the first chapter of the book, the aim of these images is to set the tone of the character by giving her an image of mysteriousness. Something unnoticeable or subtle. However, the images are also those of comfort or familiarity. It shows the fondness the protagonist has for the woman.

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Graham Greene expertly uses French, within the first chapter of The Quiet American, to show the deluded and fragile mental state of the protagonist. Fowler wants to exist where Phuong loves him in an idealized lovers fantasy, described in the poem L’Invitation Au Voyage [“L’invitation Au Voyage”] by Baudelaire. He quotes the poem and converses in French while Phuong is serving him at his residence. The use of French in conversation stops when he is confronted with the harsh reality of Pyle’s death, only to return after the “interlude”. Greene uses this to show that Fowler has escaped back into his opium dream.

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I wouldn’t change anything in chapter one imagery wise. I believe everything flows and matches very well, and I could not change anything. Short story wise, there is a story arch, climax, introduction of characters, and brings readers straight to the point which leads into the rest of the story. I can’t see how Greene could have added or subtracted anything out of the chapter. The integration and the already suspenseful nature of it is intriguing and delightful to read. I think Greene started The Quiet American with an excellent introduction.

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fowler map.jpg

This image of Thomas Fowler, pointing out his next destiny, started being a business trip in which he would find an interesting story. But, when Fowler arrives at Phat Diem, he encounters reality face to face. While he was seeing such a scene it made him realize how cruel is the war and how unfair life was to all those innocent people. This information in the first chapter helps us identify the kind of person Fowler is and states a new path for the character in which seeking the truth and taking a firm position motivates him in his decision making. Even when seeking this information was risky.

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  Imagine the first chapter as a short story. What would you need to add or subtract to retain its subtlety yet make it work as a complete and unified story? In other words, what would Greene need to include or omit so that we could get a complete sense of it?  

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In Graham Greenie’s [format and spelling correction: Graham Greene] novel The Quiet American, chapter one is used as a hook for the rest of the novel. It starts off very strong to intrigue its readers. However, to call it a short story, a few changes would need to be made. Being that the first chapter is used to intrigue the readers, it lacks a proper conclusion and introduction. We are introduced briefly to a few characters and the setting. Though without prior knowledge of the novel, the setting may appear unclear. As well, the plot is rising consistently but does not end. A clear beginning and end are necessary to call chapter one a short story.

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For the first chapter of The Quiet American to be unified into a short story, the stakes need to rise allowing a greater climax, and maintain the ambiguity of Fowler’s guilt. To achieve this, I would include Fowler further narrating the love triangle between Pyle, Phuong, and himself, and the bitterness he feels over being left for him. When being interrogated, Fowler would reveal details only someone involved would know, furthering the tension. Ending in bed with Phuong, Fowler internally narrates Pyle’s acts resulting in innocent deaths, coming up with a headline that hints to involvement in Pyle’s death.

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Greene’s opening chapter to The Quiet American has the perfect set up for a short story however, it needs a few changes. Greene would need to build a stronger connection between Pyle and the readers, which would make his death more significant. Greene would need to include more about who Pyle was and his relationship with Phuong. These emotional connections are key to reach the audience and make them reflect on the story or in the bigger picture, their own lives. The chapter is strong on its own, but the addition of pathos would make it an excellent short story.

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To make the first chapter its own story, Greene would have to expand on Pyle’s situation – the kind of man he truly was and further details regarding his death. It could remain a mystery of sorts but clarifying who he was involved with and possible suspects for the chest wound, instead of leaving the reader blindly guessing. Explaining the relationship between Pyle, Fowler and Phuong would be important as it makes Fowler look rather suspicious in Pyle’s death, and Phuong comes off as poorly inserted in the story.

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In order to make a short story Green needs to clarify two details as the characters’ relationships and Fowler’s involvement to Pyle’s death. For instance, why does Phuong cute with Fowler if she plans to get marry Pyle? [the previous sentence needs proofreading] The reader wants to understand her role in the story. Additionally, there’re [avoid there’re in formal writing] clues from the narrator regarding his involvement to Pyle’s death as when he declared his innocence in the police “I told myself again I was innocent” which makes the reader feel that he isn’t. These situations make the story unfinished, therefore we want to know more due to curiosity.

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Building on the bond between Fowler and Pyle would unify the story while getting the reader more invested in the characters. While Fowler shows interest in Phuong, this connection serves to benefit the mysterious relationship that Fowler has with Pyle as he seems envious of him being with Phuong. The connection that Fowler and Pyle share gets even more intense as Fowler later admits, "Am I the only one who really cared for Pyle?". From despising him to caring about him, a connection that is very abnormal and brings up a lot of questions. This connection could be built upon further to tie the story together.

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The story appears to be in Fowler's mind and how he interprets the situation from his point of view; we have the imagery of what's going on between America, Vietnam and France in the cold war [Cold War]. The mixture in language brings the reader to look up meanings so they can understand the concept. Fowler's mind portraits love, mystery and uncertainty. We would need to put the pieces together, who killed Pyle? How does Phoung [Phuong] feel? How does the war affect the characters?. The first chapter feels like starting a movie halfway through where you don't know what is happening.

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As a reader, I wondered who killed Pyle by expecting [misplaced modifier] the next chapter to explain. Thus, to give a sense of ending, Greene needs to include a scene that solves the mystery of a murder. In fact, Fowler is the first suspect because he has a clear motivation. After all, Pyle stole his lover, Phuong. To show that the reader's assumption is accurate, Greene must put a scene foreshadowing that Fowler killed Pyle. For instance, Fowler wipes the mud, which was left on Pyle's dead body, off his shoes after investigation to imply that he is a murderer.

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If the first chapter of The Quiet American was redone into a short story, the short story should focus on the scene where Fowler goes to identify Pyle’s body. The whole chapter slowly gets to the important point that Pyle has been assassinated. The beginning where Fowler and Phuong wait for Pyle could be told in the past tense as a memory as the three come to terms with Pyle’s death. Greene staring at the identification of the body, would have given more of a chance to write deeper meaning and impact that Pyle’s death has on Fowler’s mental being.

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To make the first chapter a complete short story, the main character's internal struggle should be added, particularly, right before and after Phuong being told that the man, who promises to marry her, is assassinated. In detail, though having intended to hide Pyle's death from the girl he loves, Fowler could not bear Phuong's constant questions about Pyle's absence. Her desperate waiting and her mind full of the other man is like a knife cutting his heart. This is so painful that makes him change his intention, revealing half of the truth straightly but not telling her about his involvement in Pyle's death.

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As a short story, the first chapter of the novel would need to omit some of the text that could be irrelevant to the plot of the first chapter. Greene would need to omit the parts where fowler [Fowler] describes Phuong and Pyle’s characteristics in detail. Since the first chapter exists to reveal that Pyle was murdered, it’s still necessary to include context about who Pyle is and what his relationship to fowler [Fowler] and Phuong is, But Greene would need to use more concise and relevant descriptions to make the first chapter an effective short story.

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The beginning of Chapter 1 of TQA [use full title or QA] is ominous with the introduction of the mysterious “Pyle,” and a perfect “maiden in distress” scene with Fowler bringing Phuong in off the street. Immediately, there’s the classic line used to signify a history between two people: “I saw that she was doing her hair differently.” As a short story, lines like that and scenes like when Phuong prepares the pipe, should be the focus to make this a story of reunited love versus Fowler and Pyle’s roles in Vietnam and relationship (other than suggesting that they were close, for dramatic, love-triangle purposes).

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Greene would need to add more information about the characters so you get a sense of each person. Greene needs to add more about the setting and where it is taking place so you get more details and makes it a unified story. More information needs to be added about Pyle before they kill him off. Also Greene can go more into detail about the relationship between Phuong and Fowler it would help with the story and how it ends. [The last sentence is a fused sentence: two independent clauses without co-ordination]

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Greene's [Greene] presents the first chapter in a nonlinear timeline, seldom confusing [occasionally challenging?] the reader. The narrator jumps between the aftermath of Pyle's assassination, a series of events leading up to his death and an unexplained love triangle. Throughout the chapter Fowler convinces himself that he's innocent, raising questions if he had a hand in the tragedy. Furthermore, Fowler's statement if he was the only one "who really cared about Pyle?", makes us wonder about Phuong's relationship with the deceased. Providing a linear timeline, insight into [the] Fowler-Phuong-Pyle relationship and their connection to each other will [would?] unify the story.

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